The fear to be mistaken

By Enrique Aguilar

 

 

From where it arises? How it is that many people are paralyzed in the life by fear to take a step and to be mistaken?

 

Memory the day that my father took me to the school of Leave to him to ask for my enter him. It was 6 years old and it faced first great test to me. It had to read a phrase and to write my name. Uf! In front of a gentleman who did not know don't mention it and in front of my father. Both they were kind if it did or or it did bad. With 6 years I began in the stress that supposes to be valued by others.


 

 

When we played in the childhood we explored, we tried, we underwent by the joy and the curiosity to see what happened. Of innate way we looked for the pleasant joy to discover new experiences and possibilities. We assumed small challenges that generated a pleasant tension to us, as jumping from a considerable height, to raise a tree, to go with the bicycle by a difficult way¦ This playful attitude to explore the life took to us to learn with speed. How it is that as adult we stagnated so much? How it is that we stopped exploring the life?

 

Memory the quiet suffering that I experimented in my scholastic stage. It had difficulty in learning the lecto-writing. A dyslexia detected by my educators did not put it to me easy. So to enter the classroom every day it was a torture, it had to avoid at all costs that the others realized my stupidity at the time of reading a text. When comparing to me with my companions, I myself it gave account to me of the bad thing that read. So, he had to live with the tension that supposed the threat that the teacher told me: - Enrique, reads “ having left I exposed without defense in the opinion of my companions and my teacher. The fear to do it bad was terrible so I developed all the strategies possible to be invisible and to happen unnoticed.

 

Now I know the force that has the instinctive necessity of property to the group. Our instinct is formed to detect situations that suppose a threat to our survival. In our origins as species, to have an anomaly that excluded to us from the group would be the safe death. Although nowadays to remain does not only suppose a physical death, the fear not to belong to the group continues comprising of us.  Ours instinctive I always am alert not to show the anomaly thus so that the rest of the group does not exclude to us and to be able to survive.

 

Then, if this fear is instinctive and has as positive intention the survival,

 

we can do something on the matter?

In order to respond to this question it is necessary to consider that, the fear to mistake to us can help to remove the best thing us from we ourself, can be one of the motors that our creative potential activates to give the best thing of us to the group and thus to guarantee the permanence to the same. Or, on the contrary, the fear to mistake to us can bring about vital paralysis to us, that is to say, we did not make decisions and we did not happen to the action through fear, since, if we do it, one of the options possible is to mistake to us having left we exposed in the opinion of the others.

 

I believe that all educator, mother, father and all person generally, must deepen in occurring account of the tremendous impact that takes place when we judged to the other by how it is and how does. Especially the value judgment that we emitted the adults to the children.

 

The people who lived a childhood in an atmosphere on severe judgments, where not to make the things good were penalized with a punishment, probably have developed a fear to happen to the action and the change that supposes a limitation and a powerful suffering to them. On the other hand, the people who lived in free surroundings of judgments and where the error was not penalized, probably have more facilities of innovation and to adapt to the changes.

 

Most important that I want to transmit in this article, she is that whatsoever what has been shelp, our brain is plastic and we have the capacity to forget and to learn new forms to confront everything what it supposes a challenge to us. She As ally instead of enemy can be surpassed the paralysis of the fear and be used.

 

We must in our nature be prudent to guarantee our survival and also we have in our nature the impulse to assume experiences that they challenge to us constantly, as when ©ramos children and we rose a tree. Of this the personal and collective evolution consists.

 

I like to imagine the life as the game that she challenges to remove the best thing to us from we ourself. If we stopped matching this by fear to mistake to us, we died while still alive. It is to tell him NOT to the life.

 

The challenge of the challenges is to tell him IF to the easy thing and flowed and to tell him IF to which is difficult to us.

 

In what challenge litters? You are saying YES or these to him saying to him NOT.

 

Thanks to read my words.

For me it has been an enormous challenge to happen of the dyslexic boy who hid by the misspelling to share this with you.

 

With affection, Enrique

Chat/factory the enthusiasm gratuitous Event

With Enrique Aguilar

Factory in search of the Enthusiasm in Barcelona and Madrid

With Enrique Aguilar


To write commentary

Commentaries: 12
  • #1

    Puri (Tuesday, 24 April 2018 00:28)

    Thank you very much Enrique by your article. The fear to the error is one of my worse fears, still has a great weight in my decision making and a limitation, that although now has it conscious, continues limiting to me. I will consider to say to S.A. challenge that I have now, although my mind says no. to me.
    A hug,

  • #2

    Lola Fern¡ndez (Tuesday, 24 April 2018 11:56)

    Thanks, Enrique, by your words. This fear the majority we also have it by an education badly understood, but by a bad experience of adults since in our society the errors are very badly valued when in fact they comprise of the learning of all the people.
    Greetings.

  • #3

    Hope (Tuesday, 24 April 2018 16:28)

    Thanks.
    I am saying IF, new challenge, even feeling that accompanies the threat to me by the paralysis of the fear.

  • #4

    Sandra (Wednesday, 25 April 2018 11:17)

    Enrique thanks. It needed to read something as this to give account me of which I say more than NOT than than IF. It is necessary to begin to change this¦.

  • #5

    L­dia Mass³ i Busqu© (Sunday, 29 April 2018 15:45)

    Thanks for so wise reflections. In order to be able not to stop playing of indefinite ways to help and to help us the world to be an amiable place. By that childhood that is light and smile in our interior and discovery and admiration by each mystery. To have all this present¦ when Coach does not appear, always there in the corner. Form leaves from the game, also, the one that does not play.

  • #6

    Silvia (Thursday, 03 May 2018 17:13)

    Thank you very much Enrique. Ne I feel identified. Working to me If, although the fear paralyzes to me. A hug

  • #7

    Isabel (Tuesday, 08 May 2018 06:18)

    All the decisions give fear me. Ell takes me to the point of not sleeping by the nights, thinking does not let to me rest.

  • #8

    Isabel (Tuesday, 08 May 2018 18:16)

    Thank you very much Enrique, I am in change process and the fear invades to me by fear to mistake to me, and to read your so honest and near writing helps to allow me to be imperfect. .aunque me I recognize that it costs to me to jump to the emptiness of the customary stranger zone of comfort. But the life forces to me and to take run it is a great stimulus to read to you.

  • #9

    Carlota (Wednesday, 09 May 2018 11:02)

    Enrique thanks!
    Your words have enchanted me.

  • #10

    Marijo (Thursday, 10 May 2018 21:22)

    Congratulations Enrique and thousand thanks for your words, for my are great help.

  • #11

    Cristina (Thursday, 10 May 2018 22:05)

    Fantastic post and leido at the precise moment.

    Thanks for your anger!

    A hug

  • #12

    Rakel (Saturday, 12 May 2018 09:49)

    I believe that it is very interesting what you raise. And more in our country. Recently there am it been thinking and it told me: we are a country of cowards. And, sincerely I create it thus. And also I create are two questions in this subject: a fear to mistake us and other to leave our zone of comfort, to face us the stranger. In our country always it drew attention to us for example how they traveled of desprecupados and bold the tourists , the foreigners. I believe that in other cultures, the British one in particular is one, this fear to mistake to us is not internalised as in ours. Also fear to the ridiculous situation in social situations is related to nuesto. And little training in speaking and acting in public from the earliest education et cetera¦